Time for a little self mockery (and also self-indulgence) for the chance to gain some perspective.
I seem to be waking up on the wrong side of the bed lately. In my bed this is not hard to do since all but a small corner is surrounded by walls. As one might imagine then getting up on the wrong side can result in a rather moody (and bruised) me.
But I am pretty sure I can’t really blame the bed.
One of the greatest skills(?) I have learned in my spiritual journey through life is how to be both The Watcher and the participant. Basically the idea is to separate a portion of your awareness to simply stand aside and watch. Watch yourself from a distance. Allow that portion of you to be an unbiased viewer of YOU.
This is not as hard as it sounds. But it does have the sometimes uncomfortable effect of letting you see the darker sides of your nature. By stepping outside the costume of self-delusion we all wear upon occasion, we get a chance to see ourselves not only as others may see us, but also closer to the essential US.
This of course can be quite scary at times.
Like when I am watching the demonic version of me metaphorically rampaging through the metaphoric villages metaphorically terrorizing the metaphorically innocent.
Why am I so grumpy? That is the real question.
Why am I being the screaming meanie instead of the sage wise man who occasionally appears? Or why not the laughing jester ? Or the focused warrior type ? Why am I not being the mischievous inventor or the intrepid adventurer ?
The simple answer is me! As with everyone else in the world I am both my best friend and worst enemy. And we seem to be having a serious fight at the moment.
I think what I need is a hefty bit o’ … someplace else.
My sister had the right idea!