Ok time for a bit of nostalgia. I am wracking my brains for a J post, and for all the J words I can come up with, they all seem to have dark and gloomy ideas associated. And I am in the mood for light and fun. So what to write?
Then along comes a commercial. Who’d a thunk a commercial might actually inspire. The commercial is for a new teeny- bopper movie (Disney hypnotizing the impressionable masses again) called Prom. And suddenly a J post Jumps to mind.
So setting the scene: Senior year in High School. Hate to admit, but it is the 80’s. I have no desire to go to the prom. I am a geek. Dances are not my thing. My best buddy is going to the prom with his girlfriend, who so happens to have a dateless friend who wants to go to the prom.
Seems I am going to the prom.
We have never met before (it is a biiiiiig school). So we double date for a movie so we can at least meet each other. Seeing as it is a movie we still really have not met each other. But agreement made, signed in blood (my blood if I back out). I go through the horror of tux rental, but no need to dwell on that. Still gives me nightmares.
So the tradition is that right before the prom is a Senior Skip day. We all head to the beach or the like. My buddy is big into football, and has a great arm on him. We are tossing a ball around at the beach. He throws me a perfect pass. I lift my hands up to catch it. And find myself suddenly very distracted. High School Hormones, Beach and Bikinis. Need I say more?
Perfect pass goes right between my hands. And without anything to slow it, hits me right … well out of respect for any male readers I will leave the rest to your imagination. Needless to say, it hurt. A lot.
In the evening there is still a lot of pain. And a mild bit of swelling. I am pretty sure I have never quite seen that particular shade of purple on a human to this day. And as for the swelling … well, have you ever seen the movie The Blob? A visit to the Emergency Room seems appropriate at this point. So off to the hospital I run. Or hobble to be accurate.
Enter the Emergency Room. Head to the desk. “Can I help you?”
“I have a bit of a groin injury” in a Michael Jackson falsetto.
“Is there any pain?” When my jaw gets back up from the floor I answer, as well as give my life history, and finally get to see a doc.
Doc with a grip of steel and hands the size of a baseball mitt probes around a bit. He seems to think everything is basically ok, just need to use a bit of ice. And “keep off of it” so to speak. Good thing I am on a blind date and a geek, or it might ruin some plans.
All my friends are super sympathetic. I only hear jokes with such punchlines as Bangkok every ten minutes or so. And of course they only demonstrate the punchline with the lightest of taps. Such nice friends!
So I show up at the prom in my baby blue tux complete with ruffles, and somehow everyone whose seat I pass behind manges to back into me. Now as I said, I am not into dances. But I have a strong sense of irony, and am not too afraid to make a spectacle of myself. And my blind date seems to want to dance. I am hesitant at first, but then The Song hit, and I just couldn’t resist.
Yep. JUMP. By Van Halen. How could I not?
My date at this point is completely horrified. I am not sure I see her again for the rest of the dance. After the prom we go back to my buddy’s house to continue the party. Of course my date has to work the next morning (I mean who would want to get the day after the prom off from work) so she leaves early. The rest of us decide to drive to the beach to see the sunrise. Two (or is it three?) couples, and me. We go in a couple of cars, one being a station wagon. I don’t want to be the fifth (seventh?) wheel, so I lie on the roof of the station wagon to enjoy the sunrise, while my friends do whatever they are going to do.
It doesn’t rain TOO hard!
The adventure ends when we drive back to my buddies house for breakfast. And his parents are kind enough to put some candles in a cupcake to celebrate my birthday. Good thing THEY remember it is.
Best dance ever!!