I misplaced a little bit of me a few years back. Now as one can imagine, losing a bit of oneself can be awkward – depending of course on that bit that was lost. Losing a tooth might be awkward for the chewing department, but otherwise not so much of a difficulty. There might even be bonuses like improved whistling skills. On the other hand, if one misplaces say … a limb … well obviously that might cause a few more severe difficulties. I misplaced a very key component of me, and it has really made my life difficult in several ways. I have managed to ignore the lack for a long while, but I have now found that I did myself a disservice by doing so. It is time for me to correct this error. Fortunately, the part I misplaced was not actually a physical one … yet its lack HAS made me a bit uglier. I have sometimes managed to convince folk that I still have this missing part, but I know better, to my own discomfort.
I have decided today that if I can not find the original, I’ll just have to make a new one.
The good thing is that I have several magic weavers int the wings who will help me grow back what I lost, even if they do it without realizing it. These are the best kind of people … people who heal simply by being themselves.
So what is this mysterious bit o’ missing me? Something that once defined ME. It made ME stand out, and had a way of moving people (granted it sometimes moved them quickly in the opposite direction … but it moved them nonetheless). Everybody has this (or they should anyway).
I speak of my ability to laugh.
I am not saying I lost my sense of humor. If I lost that I would simply disappear. But once upon a time, I was a master of the art of laughter. I did not need much to start a good belly laugh … sometimes it just took the desire to laugh. My laugh was loud and strong and sometimes goofy … and had the great power of being quite infectious. But somewhere along the way, I misplaced the connection between my sense of haha and the actual haha. I not only do not laugh like I once did, but find myself in physical difficulty if I even try. It’s like I lost the minute hand on a watch … the watch still tells time … but it is not quite all that helpful or accurate. My laugh has been severely lacking for years.
A laugh is supposed to cause joy. To spread happiness; heal a small bit of the world; spread the seed of simple pleasure from person to person and make the world plain and simply … a better place. Laughter is second only to a smile in the capacity to make the world whole again. These days all my laugh manages to do is make me choke. It is simply NOT right.
I want my laugh back.
Since I have started blogging, I have been introduced and exposed to some of the laughingest laugh creators it would be anyone’s pleasure to laugh to. There are so many out there that I could not easily list all of them, but I love these people for not only their ability to spread the blessing of laughter … but they can do it even through their own pain. They are REAL people, with sorrows as well as joys … just like the rest of us. But they choose not to be swallowed by the sorrow, not to be overcome by any of their own pains and dilemmas, but rather to laugh … at themselves, at the silliness to be found in the world, or maybe for the simple joy of the laugh.
I had no idea where I was going with this (as usual) but here I am. I guess that as long as such people keep bombarding us with … well lots of haha moments, I have a good chance of finding my laugh again. And who knows … that might actually be of some benefit.
P.S. I had intended to give a shout out to a particularly wonderful idea (at least I thought it was particularly wonderful), and a post associated to said wonderful idea. Neither idea or post are specifically haha moments, but their creators are two goddesses of laughter that inspire me often (even if I don’t properly let them know). But apparently my post had a mind of its own today. For a few other of my favorite laughmiesters, take a look at my very lacking links list over to the left there.