As I have mentioned, I have been struggling with the whole “Why bother?” concept for sometime now. This not only covered blogging, but pretty much everything to do with life these days. Why look for another pointless job that will only make me miserable for instance. I solved that issue pretty easily by not really looking. But sadly this makes for other issues, such as an actual income so I can do stuff. For a while I was operating under the concept that I would finish one (or both) of the books I have started, and actually attempt to sell them and get some income that way. I was also going with the whole delusion that my writing might get me somewhere.
But in my recent existential dilemma, I was wondering not so much whether I had any skill and could complete any of these project, but rather would anyone actually be interested in BUYING anything I write. I am not unskilled, but I have no patience for the popularity contest that success has become these days. It seems to me that there is more chance of selling something by playing the game of social networking and marketing YOURSELF rather than actually having a quality product.
So I stopped on the books for a while. And while I have still been blogging, it basically meant I was doing absolutely NOTHING useful or productive in my life whatsoever.
Then after my bit of whining yesterday, I was reminded of one simple little fact. Who cares what the world thinks? I enjoy what I am doing for a change, and even if nobody really wants to buy anything I write, or see any photos I take, I have the satisfaction of creating things. So enough with my whining . Just get on with it. Maybe I can make some money at it. Maybe I can not.
But I definitely have no chance of it if I don’t at least finish what I started!!
That said I will simply take what joy I can out of creating, even if no one views it. As for the whole having an income so I can actually live a little thang … well I haven’t figured that one out yet. But I do know that whining about it doesn’t help 🙂
Today I finished another chapter of one of the books. And while I have still not really found my creative rhythm again, the point is I have made the effort again. We will see were my new vague sense of determination gets me this time!