Get out of your own way Steve!!

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein

What makes humans different from other animals?

This is a question that often arises, and seems to have so many possible answers. Some say it is our capacity for humor, others believe it is our capacity for violence. Maybe it is our imagination, or our adaptability. Or maybe we are just being arrogant in assuming we ARE any different and it is nothing at all.

Based on my own actions in the past week or so, and frankly based on my whole life history, I have a new theory. After all as much as I sometimes am not proud of it and do my best to act otherwise, I AM human. I know I know, I hide it well.

I think that basically we are no different from other animals. We seek to live the best we can and do what we must to ensure our own survival as well as those of our offspring. And ideally we do it in the least painful way. Other animals show humor, violence, imagination and adaptability. Maybe not to the same level as humans but it is there. What we do that as far as I can tell does not show up elsewhere in the animal kingdom is …

Self sabotage … get in our own way.

We have this innate ability to be our own worst enemies; to be the ones who wholeheartedly throw a wrench in our own plans and then wonder why they didn’t end up the way we hope. Sometimes we do this without even being aware, but all too often we do it with full knowledge.

Plainly put, we are all insane. Sure some of us are better at avoiding this trap than others, but it happens to everyone at some point in their lives. The true test of character may be how well we learn our lessons when we become aware we are doing it. Do we continue to follow the same pattern simply out of some misguided form of comfort? Or do we stop, give ourselves a shake, and CHANGE? Do we make an effort to improve ourselves by learning to actually trust ourselves?

Some consider me smart. Maybe even wise. And I will admit that I sometimes have my moments, especially when dealing with others. But my own human nature; my own capacity for self sabotage is a strong one. I have fully mastered the art of totally tripping myself up as soon as something starts getting good for me! And the worst thing is I see myself doing it yet somehow can’t manage to stop myself.

I am ashamed.

So I add to my already existing vow, and offer an apology. I am sorry to anyone in my past or present who has inadvertently suffered for my lack of faith in self, and apologize as well to anyone in the future should I slip again. And I vow that I will do my utmost to get out of my own damn way, and let my own potential finally fly free.

It just remains to be seen if I am up for the challenge.

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